She’s made all the mistakes, so you don’t have to… Ask Erin is a weekly advice column, in which Erin answers your burning questions about anything at all.
I started Ask Erin on my old blog in 2009. Why? Because people have always come to me for advice. I am not a doctor or a therapist, but what I do have is a whole lot of experience in making all the wrong choices. I've learned so much from my many, many mistakes.
This is a no judgement-zone. I'm here to help remind you of what you probably already know (but just need someone else to say it, or write it, out loud). I answer all questions anonymously and with love. If you have a question for me, you can connect with me HERE.
In addition to my weekly column, I’ll be answering questions with Dave on the Dopey Podcast, which I am really excited about. You can direct Ask Erin x Dopey questions HERE.
Our frustration is that only one family will ask to bring a dish to help. Everyone else just shows up empty-handed for the picnic. This is for every get-together.
I let my boyfriend of almost two years move in… It's been about a month… And I don't trust him. He lies about dumb things… I pay for all the groceries and pick up the house and do our laundry, etc. I feel more like his mother than his girlfriend.
My boyfriend said he’s questioning his sexuality… He’s broken up with me at this point… He still says he’s attracted to me and ultimately wants me in his life. He says he still sees a future, but we’re still broken up… Where do I go from here? Am I kidding myself into thinking it’s salvageable, or is my relationship DOA?”
I’m in love with a man at work who does not know that I adore him. My dilemma is that I didn’t know that he had a fiancé until recently… Now, I am changing jobs by being transferred to work at another school. He says that he’s going to miss me. Should I tell him that I love him, even though there is a big possibility we will never see each other again?
We need to have these conversations; nothing will change without them. So it is a good thing that I continue getting these emails. This means that people are much more aware of how they may be inadvertently crossing boundaries (and much more willing to confront it).
I realized I’m not actually bisexual, as I thought I was. I’m a lesbian… I’m scared to cancel the wedding and tell my family and let his family down, but I’m also scared to live the rest of my life feeling as unfulfilled as I do now…. I don’t know how to call off a wedding and not be a terrible person for doing that.
“He kept me a secret… her clothes were still at his place… she was still texting him and telling him she loved him. Instead of ignoring her, he texted her back… In the end, I lost my temper… We have now split up, and he says it’s because of my rage AND my need always to be right… Was I right to leave this situation, or has he got a point?”
This will be my first sober Christmas, and I’m terrified… I have a lot of anxiety around seeing extended family more than my immediate family. I don’t want to have to explain myself or talk about it with them. I am just not ready. Also, my family is a big wine family, and I know it will be weird to be the only adult not imbibing.
Things had been going well until he found out that I was stalked by an ex at one point in my two years of being single. I did answer his texts here and there to keep the stalking down. So this comes up in conversation, and he says I lied, and I still love my ex… I told him the truth, and he didn't want to believe me.
My wife blames me for her brother’s death. After a decade of battling substance abuse, her brother died three weeks ago from overdose complications.
I am dreading Thanksgiving... Basically, every family gathering involves diet talk between my mother and sisters.
There is a man I have been emotionally cheating with for a while now… Some days, we talk for hours at a time when we can and can send hundreds of messages within a matter of hours!
I recently came out as bisexual, and since then, my boyfriend has been hinting at wanting me to have sex with a woman. We have spoken about threesomes as an idea for the future but never as an actual plan to do anything. This weekend, he got drunk and decided to tell me that he would like to include one of his friends from college in a threesome.
She told me that they slept together, not once, not twice, but three times. I felt sick because she is my ride-or-die, but that’s my sister… Now, what do I do? Do I tell my sister? Do I tell my brother-in-law I know? Do I end a 25-year friendship?
I am SO ANGRY, mostly because he didn’t have to come over and tell me he’s falling in love with me. I told him from the beginning that I just wanted him to be honest with me. I am confused. Am I overreacting? Did I just get ghosted?
My husband makes me feel like I can’t do anything right. From morning until evening, he criticizes me about something. It is really mentally putting a strain on me now.
My friend could be described as awkward with sometimes rude behavior. She was recently unofficially diagnosed with a processing disorder which she has embraced. I want to support her by giving good feedback and would hate to ghost her in our friendship, but some of her behaviors have become overwhelming for me.
He tells me all the time that he wants to be with me "one day. ”I don't have the courage to ask him what this means. Part of me feels like I'm wasting my life. We have been together for almost two years now.
What’s concerning to me is not that he liked some posts on Instagram, but that he made an agreement that it seems he never intended to keep.
The first thing I want you to consider is that the way your sister lashes out at your mother is a typical symptom of depression in teenagers. Teens do not display depression in the same ways as adults do. Where depression in an adult may look like sadness, it often looks like anger and irritability in a teenager.
Letting go is painful, but hanging on to what no longer exists is far more painful. You know that you can’t fix this for him. So give him the space for his recovery and make space for your own.
Nine months ago, I found out my partner was cheating on me. I decided to forgive him and try to move on… Today I found out I have chlamydia.
I am an openly gay man. I came out gay a few years ago. Now I’m confused about my sexuality, as I am starting to develop feelings for my female friend.
He's the first one I want to talk to when anything happens to me and I enjoy everything we do together. I do love him sincerely. My question is: Do I love him as more than a friend?
With my husband sitting right next to me, I got a hysterical call from Candy saying that my husband had just then deliberately walked in on her in the shower, took pictures of her with his phone, and that she was going to call the police and report him.
I never intended to hurt her in any way. I truly loved her, always tried to protect her, and thought I was very careful. At the time, I truly believed that what I did would be okay with her.
My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. Actually, Valentine’s Day will be our two year anniversary. We talked about it, and he doesn’t want to go to a restaurant because of Covid.
I’ve been with my significant other for almost ten years now…. Long story short, my family disapproves of him, and it is tremendous stress that I need to address. I’m just not sure how. I love my significant other and want it to work more than anything, but sometimes I am not 100% certain we are best for each other.