This morning I woke up TIRED. Profoundly tired.
It wasn’t just my body. It was my mind. I had that specific type of winter-time fogginess that creeps in for me very year mid-January. Do you feel me?
Being a Tuesday that felt like a Monday because of the long weekend didn’t help. Neither did a constantly interrupted sleep cycle courtesy of Baby Franklin.
But, it’s more than that. It’s all of the x-factors, plus something else. Depression. Not depression in the all-consuming way it used to take hold of me (because THANK YOU WELLBUTRIN), but that low-grade, coming and going, maybe it’s not even there, but no it’s there kind of depression.
So, that sucks. Because as much work as I’ve done and as far as I’ve come, I still struggle.
The difference now is I have tools.
The first tool is that of recognition. This is a BIG one. In the past, I may have walked around in this funk as it slowly wrapped its tendrils around me, suffocating me until I was paralyzed with that specific type of inaction that depression thrives on. Once I have this cognition, which only took me a few hours today, I can take small actions that prevent it from becoming a more significant problem. Here are three I am focusing on today.
I make the time to meditate.
Even if I don’t believe it will work. Even if I can’t shut my mind down. Even if I only have five minutes. Invariably, I feel some slight shift, some lessening of that weight bearing down on me.
I remind myself that I deserve to be treated with compassion.
This is a big resolution for me this year — treating myself with compassion. For most of my life, I have not done this. I have shamed myself, held myself to cruel and impossible standards, and expected things (from me) that I would never expect from anyone else. This is the year that I stop having to have it all figured out, all the time. The world will not stop turning.
The word compassion has become a mantra for me.
That old tried and true gratitude list.
Yes, you’ve heard this before. I promise, in even the darkest moments, we can find things to be grateful for today. Doing this first thing in the morning and at the end of the day sets an intention that helps alleviate the blahs for me.
And, I have so much to be grateful for.
Tonight I am grateful for my husband making dinner, my beautiful children, and my eyes that see the world around me.
My newsletter is about to launch. You can sign up HERE. When you do, you’ll get my Ask Erin Self-Care Guide. I can’t wait to share it with you. It’s full of self-care tips that I for one need to be reminded of daily.