What Do You Think?
Artwork: Tess Emily Rodriguez
In last week’s Ask Erin column, a woman wrote in to ask “Do you think I’m a home wrecker?”
The circumstances are all too familiar. Girl meets guy on dating app. All is well until girl finds out that guy already has a girlfriend. Guy claims “it’s complicated.” Girl knows it's wrong but wants to pursue it anyway and wants me to either okay this or tell her what she already knows — Do not pass Go; do not collect $200.
(Yes, I know not all guys. But, in my inbox, 99.999% of questions of this nature are this exact scenario. Also, I know some people do not like the usage of girl for woman, but I like the world girl. Girls are powerful.)
Anyhow, let’s talk about the phrase home wrecker (or homewrecker) for a moment. For the record, it’s not my term of choice but was in the question itself. It’s pretty outdated. And the wrecking of a home does not occur because of one person (and that term is usually thrown around at women).
Another side note, doesn’t it seem like looking to date on a dating app while you’re in a relationship is like you’re just begging to get caught? You know, like when a murderer leaves some sort of clue or makes an obvious mistake because deep down they want someone to stop them.
BUT, back to the real question. She wanted to know if she could possibly justify moving forward with this guy, despite all this, and if so, if that makes her a bad person.
It does not. But, it does make her a selfish person. I know because I have been that person.
You can read my advice and the question HERE.
Let me know what you think. Have you ever justified an affair because of “complicated” circumstances? Have you been the one trying to dovetail your way out of a relationship that just wasn’t working anymore?
Talk to me!